I’m turning 30 in a few days, and I can’t believe it.

When I was a kid, I thought people in their 30s were really old and mature enough to have their lives figured out.

Now here I am, feeling so young and dumb and clueless about most of the things I need to do. But I try to do them anyway because, well, it’s not like I have a choice not to, right?

I don’t blame myself, though, since life has been a lot difficult for me. Unlike a lot of people my age who have been blessed enough to have someone — or a team of someones — to cheer them on and hold their hand as they try to figure things out in this weird, weird world, I have no one by my side most of the time. Thanks, my highly dysfunctional family!

From the very start, I’ve been forced to deal with things mostly alone and it sucks. Imagine, I even had to witness some horrors of life for the very first time without a reliable adult telling me things would turn out fine regardless of how dark and bad and crazy they may seem.

But still, I’ve made it this far. To be very honest, I am so proud of myself right now. This doesn’t mean, however, that I’d never want things to be different from how they have been for me.

Oh, god. I would have saved myself from unnecessary heartaches and hassles if only I’d been warned or told about certain things before I ever had to deal with them in my life. Things would have been easier, and I might have been less traumatized and damaged than I am now.

So, in time for my nearing 30th birthday, let me share with you the 30 things I wish somebody told me about when I was younger.

1. You are not your parents’ mistakes, and you shouldn’t let anyone make you feel otherwise.
2. You deserve to be loved and cared for.
3. It’s okay to be different.
4. You don’t have to please everyone.
5. You don’t owe everyone an explanation, especially about how you live your life.
6. It’s not good to dumb yourself down for a guy.
7. Don’t drink too much coffee.
8. Don’t take everything too seriously. Have fun.
9. Sex is good, but do it only with people who are worth losing sleep for.
10. Poverty will break and traumatize you in more ways than you can imagine.
11. Poor people are not immune to mental health issues.
12. It’s okay to cut off toxic people.
13. Just because they’re family doesn’t mean they have the right to take advantage of you.
14. Choose your friends well.
15. You’ll outgrow some friendships, eventually.
16. It’s okay to not believe in religion.
17. Don’t date anyone who can’t even take care of themselves.
18. Avoid men who don’t know anything about household chores.
19. A person who keeps wasting your time doesn’t respect you.
20. Beware of manipulative sad boys and gaslighters.
21. Don’t try to fix everyone you meet in life.
22. Don’t read too many works by dead white men.
23. Money isn’t always bad.
24. Have your meals on time.
25. Drinking and smoking a lot isn’t a personality type.
26. Your vagina is a self-cleaning organ, so have faith in it.
27. It’s okay to enjoy things other people find tacky or dumb.
28. Stop buying too many books you don’t really feel like reading because they’re just going to make you hate yourself more when it’s time to move to a new apartment.
29. It’s okay to take a break.
30. It’s okay to let someone take care of you.