Dear Steve,
I no longer remember the last time I watched a “Blue’s Clues” episode with you in it, but I’m sure I was still in elementary at that time, thin, sickly, and often worried about whether there would be food on the table the following day.
I still hated myself a lot back then, mostly because of how I looked. When I was younger, I’d often question the god I used to believe in and their decision to give me brown skin and curly hair. Why not make me fair-skinned? Why not give me straight, silky hair? My crush would have liked me that way.
Although I was not apologetic for being smart and for always being the top student in our class, I still felt bad because other students, particularly boys, never really liked me because they thought I was too intelligent for them.
When I watched your video on the 25th anniversary of “Blue’s Clues,” I couldn’t hold my tears, especially when you said, “And then look at you, and look at all you have done, and all you have accomplished in all that time. And it’s just, it’s just so amazing, right?” It dawned on me how amazing I am for making it this far despite having to deal with a lot of shit.
I’ve come a long way, indeed. I no longer worry about food and I have already learned to love myself and how I look. Most importantly, I now understand how foolish it is to dumb oneself down just to become more appealing to boys. Most importantly, I now enjoy a lot of things I only dreamed of when I was younger.
I know I often downplay my achievements as an adult, thinking they don’t really mean a lot, but it hadn’t really occurred to me how dismissive I have been of my own victories until I watched your video. Apparently, I just had to be reminded of how far I’ve come from that poor girl to the strong woman I am now.
So, thank you for that, Steve. And, thanks for telling us what really happened. Finally, there’s closure.
It’s funny because it was only when I watched your viral video that I learned why you had left the show. I even had to look up your school bus scene on YouTube to fully understand what you meant when you talked about your final “Blue’s Clues” appearance.
We didn’t have cable at home. I only had to rely on free TV to watch “Blue’s Clues” episodes and, I think, they were even late by a couple of years. I was also busy with a lot of extra co-curricular activities as a kid, so no wonder I missed that particular episode when it aired. And then one time I just found out that there was a new host and his name was Joe. I was shocked.
My classmates in the public elementary school I was attending were equally surprised. Many of them were also wondering where you had gone. In fact, some went as far as theorizing you might have died.
What’s even funnier is the fact that I didn’t really bother to look you up when I finally had access to the Internet. I just accepted things as they were and moved on.
Well, maybe that’s just how life is. You grow up and become so busy with a lot of things. You get drowned in your worries and all the responsibilities you suddenly have until you forget about the child you used to be. Things continue that way until, one day, you just wake up to some news about the host of the show you loved as a kid talking about why we suddenly disappeared. Before you know it, you are reminded of who you used to be. Then you realize that although things aren’t perfect now, you’ve done a great job anyway. You have accomplished so many things despite the odds.
For what it’s worth, you’ve done a great job, too, Steve. Your departure from the show may have made a lot of people sad, but it’s fine. I’m just really glad to know that you’ve been able to do many things you were only dreaming of back then. Your sacrifice has paid off.
And, of course, I’m happy we’re still friends.
All the best,
Mina
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