Journaling

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  • My type of clutter

    More than five years ago, I learned about minimalism.

    It all began when I chanced upon a documentary on Netflix about the beauty of owning less. Just a few minutes into it, I already realized how burdened I had been by all my material possessions, especially the hundreds (or maybe even close to a thousand) of books I’d been desperately holding on to.

    Because my willpower was strong and I was craving some kind of a do-over, I managed to drastically lessen my possessions in just a matter of months. I threw away things I was no longer using, sold and donated a huge portion of my book collection, and got rid of clothes I had no plans of wearing again.

    At the same time, I started a tradition of purging, during which I’d simply ask myself whether certain things inside my home still sparked joy or not anymore. Anything deemed unnecessary would be let go of.

    Things went on so smoothly that I was able to welcome 2019 with only a few possessions.

    It continued to the point that Tim and I needed only one van to transport all our things when we moved into a new apartment in early 2020.

    But then the pandemic struck. Probably bored with the lockdowns, I suddenly became interested in a lot of things, including fountain pens.

    At first, I thought one would be enough. However, just a few weeks after getting my very first fountain pen, a matte charcoal Lamy Safari with a fine nib, I caught myself looking at other fountain pens to buy. And the rest is history.

    I also realized that such pens required special notebooks, so I had to get new ones, too. At some point, I heard of the Traveler’s Notebook (TN). It didn’t take long before I got one for myself.

    Before I knew it, I was already looking at photos of TN spreads on Pinterest. They all looked amazing and I thought I should make my notes and journal pages look great as well. How? Well, by using stickers and washi tapes.

    I already had some washi samples at home back then. A few months prior, I volunteered to buy washi tape rolls and a nice washi tape organizer for my partner’s friend. They were having an exchange gift in their college org and the person whose name he had randomly picked turned out to be a huge washi tape fan. Since I had just gotten into online shopping at the time and was very excited to explore Shopee further, I thought scouring the platform for the best washi tape deals would be fun.

    However, I made a huge mistake at some point and ordered some washi tape samples instead of getting full rolls. Unfortunately, I could no longer cancel my order, so I just decided to keep them for myself. They had nice designs, anyway; using them on my notebooks would not hurt at all. Little did I know, I’d also fall into the washi tape rabbit hole in a few months.

    My newfound love for washi tapes rekindled another passion I never thought would emerge again: my love for stickers.

    I had a wild stationery and sticker collection as a kid. Although we were always struggling financially, my father, who at the time was living with his second family and holding a high-paying job in a bank, spoiled me with school and art supplies, and stationery sets. He also let me buy a lot of sticker flakes and sheets. I can’t remember how I lost interest in my collection, but it just happened. I guess I just became so busy with school and extra co-curricular activities, particularly those involving our school paper, that it slowly lost its magic on me. Or, perhaps, I just became more dependent on computers and fell in love with the simplicity of plain notebooks and pads.

    Now I can’t believe I am crazy for stickers again. There are even moments when I feel like an elementary kid again, marveling at all the sticker designs available at the stationery store. The only difference now is that I’m already a grownup with a regular source of income and a stable Internet connection that allows me to order whatever I want with just a click. In other words, I can easily turn all my sticker fantasies into reality now, and, considering all the stickers I now have in my collection, I can tell that I’m on the right track.

    All these things are making me happy, especially now that I’ve been stuck at home and mostly bored with the repetitiveness of everything. It is also nice to be excited about things that are new to me as well as those that I used to love as a kid. However, I also acknowledge the fact that what I am doing is against the very thing I started embracing just a few years ago. In fact, I’m pretty sure my wannabe-minimalist self from over five years ago would cringe upon the sight of all the fountain pens, notebooks, washi tape rolls, and sticker sets I’ve managed to accumulate these past few months.

    At the same time, I won’t deny that though the things I’m so crazy about right now are against what I used to believe in, they actually help keep my sanity intact. They keep me away from the computer, too, which is a good thing because the first lockdown really kept me glued to the screen almost 24/7. And, most importantly, they remind me that no matter how shitty we may feel about ourselves and our current circumstances, we are still capable of creating something beautiful—even just in the form of journal pages that are decorated and written on.

    So I guess, for now, I’ll just go with the flow and be a little kinder to myself. The things I’m currently fond of—or obsessed with—may be considered clutter, but they are my type of clutter. And they continue to spark joy in me amid these trying times.

  • Pen frenzy

    When I was a child, my mother gave me many pens from her office. Along with sheets of copy paper joined by metallic fasteners, she’d hand me several pieces of Pilot BP-S ballpoint pen in black or blue. Sometimes, they would come in other colors, too, like green, red, and purple.

    My father did something similar. He used to work for a bank and he liked saving promotional pencils and pens so he could give them to me later. Once, he handed me a bundle of pencils and pens, each of them marked with some company’s logo. To this day, I remember that particular moment as one of the happiest moments in my childhood.

    When I started joining writing contests in grade school, my parents were so supportive. Papa, in particular, always took me to the bookstore to buy me nice pens. He knew writing competitions were like wars and I had to be properly armed.

    In high school, I started using Pilot G-Tec. It was the pen of choice of many upperclassmen in our publication, so I thought I should also try it. One day, Mama bought me one and I fell in love with it. It became my favorite pen as well. From then on, I started allocating a small portion of my allowance from Papa so I could buy my favorite pen. Even Mama was aware of how fond I was of it, so even after Papa passed away, she still made sure I’d always have a G-Tec in my pocket.

    My obsession with pens continued in college, especially when I began working in my second year at the university. Apart from G-Tec, which was still my go-to pen, I also explored other types of pens from different brands. I tried gel pens of diverse colors and scents and felt tip pens of varying point sizes. I just wanted to have something nice to write with. I was a creative writing major, after all.

    Of course, it didn’t stop even as I graduated and began working full-time. In fact, it just intensified. Now with higher purchasing power, I was freer to explore other types of pens that I had previously thought of as out of reach. I even hoarded those fancy-looking pens sold at Fullybooked.

    Eventually, I discovered Muji, which was pretty life-changing for me. I fell in love with its products, particularly its notebooks and retractable pens. I just loved how smooth it was to write using those tools. Plus, they would still write smoothly even after getting dropped several times.

    I learned about fountain pens, too. Many of my writer friends were into them, and from the very start, I have been in awe of them. However, according to a friend, they could be very addictive. I was already really crazy about books at that time, so I thought having another vice would not be a great idea. And so I had to forget about fountain pens to protect myself.

    Then came November 29, 2020. We had to go out to buy a new computer monitor for my workstation at home. We dropped by a bookstore at the mall to look for a book I’d been wanting to read. It was not available at the moment, so I thought I’d just get some writing essentials. I bought new notebooks and felt tip pens.

    Later that day, while unpacking my new writing tools, Tim asked if I’d ever considered using fountain pens. I told him about my decision to just avoid them because of how addictive they could be. But according to him, it was probably time for me to finally give in. He said fountain pens would surely suit my beautiful handwriting. Just like that, all my fountain pen fantasies were reawakened.

    The following weekend, he bought me my first fountain pen: a Lamy Safari in matte charcoal. It came with a fine nib, some ink cartridges, a converter, a bottle of Lamy Blue-Black ink, and a set of fountain pen notebooks. I was so happy that I had a flashback of the moment Papa gave me a bundle of pencils and pens from different companies.

    And as expected, it was only the beginning. Just a few days after getting my Lamy Safari, I bought a clear Pilot Kakuno with a medium nib and a bottle of Pilot Iroshizuku ink in Tsutsuji from an online seller.

    Then, a few days after Christmas, I got another fountain pen: a TWSBI Eco in cement grey with an extra-fine nib. I also ordered a bottle each of Diamine Soft Mint and Diamine Oxblood inks online. Then, to complete the lineup, I also cleaned my Sheaffer Viewpoint calligraphy pen from two years ago.

    Now I can’t stop thinking about my fountain pens and inks! I know it’s a bit too much that I got three new pens and four bottles of inks in a span of a month, so I’ve been trying to convince myself not to buy new fountain pens and inks in the next few months. But, come on! Who am I kidding?

    Perhaps, my parents are to blame for this madness.