I am not very much into traveling, but there was a time in my life when I’d turn to it each time I needed a temporary escape from life and from whatever it was I was trying to run away from.
Sometimes I would even pull things off rather spontaneously, assuming that my ability to make travel plans on a whim meant something more. Maybe it really did, as it assured me that I was still in control of my life or some aspects of it, at the very least.
It was not bad, I must admit. As my younger self often said, a break is still a break, regardless of the reason or means or even if it does not really provide anything other than a brief sense of clarity. It is valid, even if it ends with a sad cab ride to the airport or bus station, during which you feel just one thing: the dread of having to go home. It is still a break, and it can still be enjoyable, even if it shows you how unideal your daily life is, therefore making you realize you really need some escaping.
And so my younger self just tried to enjoy things as much as she could. Luckily, she was able to make a lot of great memories regardless of how escapist and half-baked her intentions were.
To be very honest, I am glad she did. She just had to do what had to be done. Besides, she did those things knowing it would not always be like that. She believed there would come a time when she’d live a life she actually wanted—something she would not need to escape from.
The good news is, that time has come. Just like what she imagined back then, I no longer need to use travel to run away from something these days.
Don’t get me wrong; my life is still far from perfect. But at least, I am now comfortable in the space I am in, and it really helps that I am with someone I actually like being with. Finally, I can feel that I am free to be me.
Since I no longer need an escape from my current reality, I now approach travel more intentionally. I no longer travel for the sake of being away.
I am leaving for Baguio City tomorrow, and I am so excited. I have been looking forward to this trip, and these past few weeks, I’ve actually been preoccupied with finalizing the list of new coffee shops and restaurants to check out.
To me, this trip would not just be a chance for me to rest and reflect. It would also be my way of getting reintroduced to the city that has undergone a lot of changes since I last visited it, like catching up with an old friend who has gone through so much.
Most importantly, I am delighted by the fact that I would not feel sad when it’s already time to go home. It would actually be the opposite: Recharged and more inspired, I would be more excited about my return to the life I love.
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